I don't know why I pick up certain things, but I do. Not so much lately, but over the years, I have brought home so many things that I would love to use, but it is a chore, trying to decide when and if I will get to do so.
One example is the many bottles of creams, lotions, fragrances,etc. I purchase them, even if it's only for a few cents, only to bring them home, let them sit on my dresser or be hidden away in a box or shelf, never to be used or seen again. Many of these get old and smell weird, leaving them unusable, although I will try to use them some way even if it's simply as foot cream during the winter when my feet are covered with callouses from a season of going barefoot. I haven't figured out the reason why I am drawn to these lotions and creams. I love to have nice smooth soft perfect skin, but that's only a dream. The type of life I live makes that impossible. When I do take my bath, it is usually so hurried, I have no time for soaking and pampering my body. There is always so much waiting to be done and I am the one, elected to do it,or so it seems. I feel my wants and wishes must wait,thus the lotions and creams, just sit there.
The same is true with a lot of reading materials. I see an article that peaks my interest and I will hold onto it with the intentions of reading it some day. The same with books. I see a book that interests me, and I order it. Usually from the used book department, so I don't feel quite so guilty for wasting money. If I get to it, alright, but if not, I've not wasted so much. The same with the creams and lotions. Most of them, I have picked up at a bargain somewhere. Yard sale, flea market, consignment store, departments store. I love sign making, so I really need to make a huge sign or several small signs, and post them all around my area.
"A BARGAIN IS NOT A BARGAIN IF YOU DON'T NEED IT."
Many of the things I bring home, fall in the same category as the above mentioned items. My art supplies,for example. I love working with my art supplies, more than anything else I do, but it seems so useless and unproductive, I push it aside unless it is so cold or bad outside, I can not possibly do anything out there.
I have come to realize that this is an addiction, and must be managed like any other addiction. An addiction lurks dormant in the back of your mind, constantly, waiting to catch you at a weak moment and persuade you to break over and do the one thing you strive so hard to avoid. Struggling with the dreaded desire to repeat the actions you so desperately want to change, is a constant battle. Eating the wrong foods,for me, falls under this very same heading. I know it's wrong or not good for me, but,many times, the constant nagging inside of my head, wins over. It's times like these that my love for all of the crafts I enjoy,comes in handy. Keeping busy,doing the things I dearly love to do is key for me.